Warm, practical psychotherapy for adults and kids
Don't you wish you could smooth the road for your child, no matter the challenge they face?
As a parent, I understand that feeling - the deep love that motivates us to want to give our children the best, happiest life possible and the heartache when we see them struggle or when something difficult happens in their life. There is no one as important to your child as you are, and there are times when adding a professional to your child's team can be:
a tremendous gift to your child's well-being,
can help you feel more confident and joyful in your parenting and
can bring peace to your family.
Therapy during childhood or adolescence is an investment whose benefits last far into a child's and a family's future. Many of my adult clients say "if only I had had this kind of help when I was growing up!" I use talk, play and art therapy, adjunct family therapy and parenting support, referrals and coaching as needed. Every child's unique temperament and development combine with stressors such as:
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learning challenges
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divorce
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bereavement
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sibling rivalry
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exposure to addiction in the family or
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social challenges.
Kids who need therapy are usually suffering or insufferable, or both. Physical, emotional or academic symptoms manifest when a child or a family's coping abilities are over-stressed. At such times, professional support can improve and resolve these symptoms before they become a lifetime struggle.
I believe in teamwork approaches and collaborate with pediatricians, teachers, educational therapists, psychiatrists or other important providers in your child's life. I originally set out to be a therapist for grown-ups, but luckily, my kids convinced me that I should also be a "kid therapist." (Kids can be very convincing, no?) I have worked as a therapist in the Oakland Unified School District and the Lafayette School District.
Couples who come to therapy often arrive with very important questions.
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Can I trust again?
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Should we get married?
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Should we stay together?
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Is this my problem or your problem?
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Can I live with this? Do I want to?
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I love him/her but the drama/the silence is killing me. Is there another way?
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Can we strengthen our spark and our passion for each other?
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How do we deal with the stress of finances, parenting, career?
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I know we love each other, but I don't feel safe and relaxed. How can we change that?
These questions don't have easy answers, but with some patience, some persistence and some willingness to take new steps, the answers do come!
What if I'm the only one interested in therapy?
There are several options. Couples therapy is only effective if both partners feel they are getting something out of it. If your partner is willing to come for a trial period for an agreed upon number of sessions, we can see if he/she finds it useful. If your partner does not want to try therapy, I can meet with you alone. It turns out that even if it seems like your partner is "impossible," if you work on your own part in the repetitive, unhappy dance of your relationship you'll notice that somehow you've changed the music!
Is it worth it to come to couples counseling if I have a feeling we are going to break up?
Coming to therapy with your partner is an especially powerful opportunity to find peace and healing in your own life, no matter what the course of your relationship turns out to be. We carry our "stuff" with us into future relationships, so understanding how we can be our strongest, kindest, happiest selves in relationship is worthwhile. If you have children together, learning to treat each other with compassion, set kind but firm boundaries, negotiate and communicate well will serve all of you for years to come.
Do you encourage people to stay together no matter what?
No. I have found that many therapists continue to see couples even when there is persistent, deep misery or intractable, abusive dynamics. I seek improvement and healing for my clients, whether that lies within their relationship or within a gentle ending of the relationship.
Scheduling
Depending on the level of urgency and the limits of your schedules, different scheduling options may be possible. For some couples it can be easier to meet for a session and a half or a double session every other week or one session, once a week.
'And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.'
— Anaïs Nin
Often, we arrive at therapy not sure exactly what we want or where we want to go, but sure that where we are now does not feel good and with the feeling that there has got to be a better way, an easier way to live. There is an awareness that our best thinking and our best attempts to try to be safe, to try to be connected with others and to try to be successful have not worked well enough.
I work especially well with people in the following situations:
People who have not had enough voice in their relationships. “Nice” people. “People pleasers”. People who are exhausted and tired of relationships that don’t feel mutual or reciprocal enough. People who have parents or family members or partners or children who live with addiction or mental illness. People who have hard decisions to make and don’t want to hurt anyone. People who want to learn more about the magic combination of love, compassion, boundaries and detachment. People who want more voice, more authenticity, more of a sense of personal power.
Parents of children who have big feelings, big volume, big needs, big challenges or who have suffered big blows, including difficult family dynamics such as divorce from a high conflict personality co-parent.
People who experience ongoing challenges in their relationships following a childhood in which their needs were not met, ranging from outright abuse to more socially accepted forms of emotional neglect or misattunement. Often, these childhood experiences can show up in difficulty trusting others, choosing partners that don’t meet our needs, creating or tolerating high levels of conflict. These patterns are common in folks with complex PTSD, so-called personality disorders or symptoms like insomnia, chronic anxiety or depression.
The work I do gives people new tools to care for themselves well and reconnects them with their own deep knowing of what they truly need and deserve, a knowing that is available to us all.
Good Faith Estimate Notice
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You have the right to receive a “Good Faith Estimate” explaining how much your medical and mental health care will cost.
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Under the law, health care providers need to give patients who don’t have insurance or who are not using insurance an estimate of the expected charges for medical services, including psychotherapy services.
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You have the right to receive a Good Faith Estimate for the total expected cost of any non-emergency healthcare services, including psychotherapy services.
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You can ask your health care provider, and any other provider you choose, for a Good Faith Estimate before you schedule a service.
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If you receive a bill that is at least $400 more than your Good Faith Estimate, you can dispute the bill. Make sure to save a copy or picture of your Good Faith Estimate.
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For questions or more information about your right to a Good Faith Estimate, visit www.cms.gov/nosurprises.